So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
