Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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