is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
