You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
