she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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