I hope mine doesn't look like that
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
