Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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