I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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