hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
