Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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