Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Randomize
