This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
