Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
