Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Randomize
