he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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