Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Are we still banned from the library?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
