if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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