you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
