you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
