Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
