Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
