Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
