grandma shit on top of the toilet
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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