too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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