You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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