Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
