Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
