remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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