Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
