Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
