Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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