Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
smell my finger.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
