we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
