i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
