No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
