I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
