party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
where are you?
Hypothermia
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize