I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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