smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
