We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
