she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
