I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
