He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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