So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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