bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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