im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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