You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
