Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
