how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
