I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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