So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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